We are in a constant struggle every day. A spiritual struggle with a violent pull to the darkness and a gentle draw to the light. It is easy to focus on the darkness and be pulled toward the enemy. Lent always seems, to me, to be a time of potent darkness. Where the light of the Lord is obscured by the selfishness and sin in my heart. It is a time when I become more acutely aware of the hold the enemy has over me. I am made aware of the areas (attachments) where I almost refuse to notice the light of Him because I might have to give it up.
But He shows me in the following contemplation that the darkness isn’t all it is cracked up to be, but the light is gentle, sweet, and comforting.
Pontius Pilate’s Wife
“For he knew that for envy they had delivered Him. And as hew as sitting in the palace of judgements, his wife sent o him, saying, “Have thou nothing to do with that just man. For I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of Him.”
-Matthew 27:18-19
My Meditation
I am the wife of Pilate, present in the praetorium as Pilate questions Jesus. My eyes are drawn to Jesus as they speak. On one speaks a world to me, but I am drawn to Him…. I cannot figure out why. He does not look like a King in any way. He is dirty from being in the dungeon all night, His hands. Bound in front of Him tightly. Uncomfortably tight.
The sight of Him, the roar of the crowd, makes me feel unwell and I need to go lay down.
I dream of horrible things amid all I had witnessed that morning. Dark beings prowling among the crowd, shrouding everything in darkness. My husband too, shrouded in darkness that is sown by the dark figures. Their voices grotesque and whispery. Spewing all sorts of mordacious discord. It makes me feel so uneasy, agitated, and anxious.
Then, my eyes fall on Him and He is the only one not shrouded in darkness, but radiating light. A piercingly bright light emanates from around His head, like a crown. The light briefly touches my husband, as he struggles to find a way to set Jesus free, but it doesn’t take long for the darkness to overtake him again. The light then turns to me filling me with complete comfort. The tossing I had been doing in my sleep ceased as I was covered in that serene light.
I send word to my husband, as I am jolted awake. Pleading with him not to have anything to do with the man, Jesus. But I soon learn that Jesus had been handed over to be crucified.
Lent is a time of waiting, preparing, and dare I say darkness. It’s hard. Its supposed to be. But the message the Lord shared with me here is simple. As we are surrounded by the darkness, the struggle, the difficulty, it all has a purpose. It is meant to help narrow our focus: To see the light. The light of Christ which is the only light that can pierce the darkness of the lurking enemy. The only goodness that can truly bring us out of sin.
Thriving in Jesus, My Friends!
How does the Lord show you His light? How do you focus on Him in the struggle of daily life? Leave me a comment and let me know!
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