Closeness
+JMJ
A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about Hopelessness. It was a hidden in my heart, unbeknownst to me. It still amazing me that it is possible for this obstacle to be living inside me without my knowledge and to cause so much distance between myself and the Lord.
He showed me in the following contemplation just how much it kept me from Him, and that healing me of it has brought about a closeness and intimacy with Him that I did not have before.
The Alabaster Jar
And when He was in Bethania, in the house of Simon the Leper, and was at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of Precious spikenard: and breaking the alabaster box, she poured it out upon His head. Now there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, “Why was this waste of the ointment made? For this ointment might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and given to the poor.” And they murmured against her.
But Jesus said, “Let her alone, why do you molest her? She hath wrought a good work upon me. For the poor you have always with you, and whensoever you will, you may do them good, but Me you have not always. She hath done what she could. She is come beforehand to anoint my body for the burial. Amen, I say to you, wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, that also which she hath done, shall be told for the memorial of her.”
-Mark 14:3-9
My Contemplation
It is me standing before Jesus with the alabaster jar of oil. As I gaze into His eyes He shows me the very plant where the oil in my hands came from. He shows me the laborer walking out in the field to harvested it. He shows me the person who processed it. He shows me the person who poured it carefully into the alabaster jar. He shows me all that went into getting this precious oil into my hands in this moment.
I walk behind Him and I pour the oil gently out over His hair. I place the jar down beside me, reach up, and gentle rub the oil into His soft hair….
Closeness
What you don’t realize is that an obstacle I have faced for a long time is removed from this contemplation (I actually reference it briefly in this post.) I would get to the point where I could pour the oil over His head, but I was never able to reach out and touch Him before.
I have noticed that there is an increased closeness and intimacy between the Lord and myself now. I can see that in my mind and heart I was held back from this closeness because my imperfections and sinfulness made me feel hopeless. A lost cause.
As I reflect I can see that He knew that woman completely. Just like the Spikenard, He knows where she was born, who here parents were, all the things that made her who she was, and everything that happened to put her in that exact moment.
Then, I saw this in my life too. All the steps He had taken to get me to that exact moment. I was born into a Catholic family, was raised Catholic, and went to Catholic School. I fell away in college and was brought to my knees before Him in illness. He led me to desire to know Him through healing. Then, while reading through the Bible and the Catechism in a year, I realized that is where He speaks. I was led to Ignatian Meditation after that through this Prayer Series, which changed my life. I have been practicing this form of prayer for a few years now, and He has taught and guided me so much.
He arranged every second of my life in order to get me to this moment. The moment of understanding and healing that allowed me to be closer to Him then ever before.
Thrive in Jesus, my Friends!
What has the Lord healed you from? What makes you feel close to Him? How does He draw you in? What does closeness to God mean to you? Leave me a comment and let me know!
New to Ignatian Contemplation? Check out my post below to learn more!