Nailed To The Cross
+JMJ
I have started facilitating Lord, Teach Me To Pray again. It brings me so much joy, and is the one thing I am absolutely certain the Lord wants me doing. Because of this my heart, mind, and soul has been in a great deal of turmoil. Why would something that brings me so much joy and is the work the Lord has assigned to me bring me turmoil you ask? Because the enemy wants to keep me from doing it. He wants me to disobey the will of the Lord for me.
It is hard to understand the inner turmoil the enemy creates, and even harder to walk through. It is hard not to give in to his suggestions that can be so much more appealing and seemingly less of a burden.
The Lord gave me some strong imagery in the following contemplation. It was hard in itself to walk through, but He had a lesson to teach me. A lesson that gave new meaning to carrying my crosses.
I am nailed to the Cross
“For I, through the law, am dead to the law, that I may live to God: with Christ I am nailed to the cross. And I live, not not I; but Christ live the in me. And that I live now in the flesh: I live in the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself for me. I cast not away the grace of God. For if justice be by the law, then Christ died in vain.” -Galatians 2:19-21
My Contemplation
He gave me the imagery of standing at the foot of the cross. The wind is whipping across the blood stained hill. The crowd shouts and jeers at my Lord on the cross. They get rowdy and pushy. I am shoved forward and smack directly into one of the Roman Soldiers walking by. He grabs my angrily by the arm and forces my hand against the blood soaked wood directly below His feet. The soldier threatens to mail my hand there. At first I resist Him, screaming and fighting, but He forded my hand back while a comrade brings a nail and hammer.
The terror overwhelms me, as he places the end of the mail against my hand. Horrified I try to look away, but I hear a gentle whisper. I look up to see my Lord crucified, gazing by down at me, with the utmost compassion and pity. Him, my Savior, takes pity on me. The sound of His beating heart fills my ears. Each pulse of it I can feel in the wood of the cross. The terror leaves me, and I know I could take it, for His sake. The soldier pulls back the hammer to strike, but all I feel is the endless love of my Lord.
He is usually more gentle with me during meditation, but it was a vivid example of what I had been experiencing in my desolation this week. The evil one being so angry that I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do and attacking me. Trying to scare me out of it.
But that is the lesson the Lord wanted to teach me. That even when it is hard, to keep going. He wanted me to keep doing what He asks even when there are no emotional consolations. I struggle with the need for a “pat on the back” and I just long so much for consolations from Him. He reminded me to keep the faith in Him even when I am under attack, and carry my crosses even more closely to Him than ever before.
Thrive in Jesus, my Friends!
How do you handle the attacks of the enemy? How have you been nailed to the cross? Where do you draw your strength from to carry those crosses? Leave me a comment and let me know!
New to Contemplative Prayer? Check out my post below to find out more!