+JMJ

A Contemplative Moment From The Gospel of Luke

Ever have a day where you are just miserable for no reason?

Where everything upsets you…. everything is aggravating… where you just can’t seem to be patient… where you cannot tolerate even the smallest inconvenience?

I had one of those days…. that lasted all week….

And the devil, ever vigilant, took full advantage.

I struggled so much practicing any virtue at all. I struggled being at peace inside. The longer the struggle went on the more despair I felt because I felt like a failure.

I can’t even be patient or peaceful for an hour? Half an hour? Just fifteen minutes?

So frustrating….

See Him

Herod the tetrarch heard about all that was happening, and he was greatly perplexed because some were saying “John has been raised from the dead”; others were saying, “Elijah has appeared”; still others, “One of the ancient prophets has arisen” But Herod said, “John I beheaded. Who then is this about whom I hear such things?” And he kept trying to see Him.

Luke 9:7-9

The words “And he kept trying to see Him” led me to the following contemplative moment:

I imagine I am kneeling in a great throne room. Beautiful and blindingly bright.

Jesus sits on His throne High above me. I feel so small in His presence. Pitifully small.

The room was bright and shining, emanating from Him alone, but where I kneel I am covered by my own dark cloud, and it is pouring down rain just over me.

I am just miserable, crying, and exhausted. Down below the majesty of Him.

His heart is moved with compassion for my pitiful helplessness, and He descends the stairs in an instant. He stands just outside my soaked little circle.

He waits, His heart aching. For what? I have nothing but misery, despair, and self-loathing to give Him. Definitely not what He deserves.

He motions for me to stand. So, I drag myself to my feet, like an obstinate teenager, drenched and pathetic.

He steps inside my cold, wet circle, and pulls me against His aching heart.

The rain keeps pouring down, but His fiery heart shields me from it.

He drains the self-pity.

He drains the misery.

He drains the despair.

He burns them up in the flames of His Sacred Heart.

True Failure

The devil tries to make me believe that I am too miserable and pitiful for Jesus to love.

The Lord showed me, however, that struggling is not failing. Struggling is trying.

Trying to see Him.

But my true failure wasn’t in the struggle itself, it was in refusing to turn to the Lord immediately. Waiting, thinking He didn’t want to see the mess that I was.

When in fact He is always ready to be involved in my struggles and mess.

Thrive in Jesus, my Friends!

What are you struggling with right now? Where do you feel you are failing? What do you do to turn back to Jesus?

Leave me a comment and let me know!