It may surprise you that I have only just recently started to see a Spiritual Director. Within the last month actually, but I am already seeing a huge difference in my prayer time, my day to day life, and my understanding of myself in relation to Him.
I wanted to share this week a change that has really made a huge difference at the end of my day. It is a small tweak to my Daily Examen.
The Consciousness Examen
St. Ignatius taught two types of Examen: General and Particular.
The Particular Examen
The Particular Examen is used to to correct a particular fault. In this Examen you resolve to avoid a particular sin that you personally struggle with. Maybe it’s gossip? Eating when you are bored? Impatience? Anger? Jealously? Impure thoughts? There may be more than one, but St. Ignatius urges a focus on one at at time.
At noon you ask God for the grace to know how many times you committed the particular sin you are trying to prefect. Then, resolve again to avoid this fault for the remainder of your day.
Repeat in the evening asking God for the grace to know how many times you committed the sin you are working on since noon. This should, through the grace of God, be committed fewer times showing improvement and amendment.
The General Examen
The General Examen acts like a magnifying glass, helping us focus on the details a given period of time, usually a single day. It allows us to see things we are grateful for, the things we failed at, our sins, what we need to work on, etc.
The General Examen is typically prayed in the evening as a way to reflect upon the events of the day. But like the Particular Examen it can be prayed twice daily, and again, is what St. Ignatius encourages.
This is the Examen I want to focus on here.
How To Pray the Examen
There are Five Steps to St. Ignatius’ Examen:
1. Put Yourself in the Presence of the Almighty God- Find a comfortable place to sit. Take some deep breaths and quiet your mind and body. Let yourself be consumed in the love of Our Lord.
2. Pray for The Light of the Holy Spirit– Ask God to send the Holy Spirit to shine His light on your day.
3. Thanksgiving- Recall the blessings God have you during the day, and thank Him for them.
4. Survey of Actions- Recall your actions throughout the day. Look over the situations you encountered. Where were you lacking? Could you have handled things better? Did you handle them well?
5. Look To Tomorrow- Resolve to do better and try to be more aware in the situations you will face tomorrow.
Turning It Over To Him
This was the Examen that I had been praying. I will be honest I struggled with it. I have a poor memory. I have to write everything down and keep things very routine to get everything done in my day. I’m lucky if i remember what I ate for breakfast. Embarrassing, I know, but its the truth. My Spiritual Director made a suggestion that changed it completely for me.
She told me to turn it over to Him, Our Lord. To make it less ‘me centered.’ For example, instead of recalling “what I am thankful for today,” changing it to “Lord, what do You see that I should be thankful for today?”
Can you see the difference? Instead of it being all about me, it is all about Him. Which is what I am striving for, right? To serve Him, to praise Him, to honor Him, always?
I implemented it that very evening, and the difference was astounding. Instead of kneeling there trying to force myself to remember all the details of my day, while at the same time trying to fight off the list that keeps popping into my head for the next day, my brain grows still and peaceful. Like all the browser pages that I feel are open are closed one by one, and I am left with a blank page.
I still began by putting myself in His presence, but made an intentional request for Him to be in charge of my Examen, begging Him to come into my heart and mind.. I wanted Him to guide me and show me what it was during my day He wants me to notice, see, and understand.
Then, the items He feels I should be thankful for start to flow gently into my brain. As something flows in I acknowledge it, thank Him whole heartedly for it, and let the next item flow into my brain. When the flow stops and I sit for a few minutes with nothing new I thank Him again, and I switch to the next step.
I then ask Him to reveal to me that He sees I failed at and/or need to work on. Then the same flow will start. Situations, conversations, and actions will flow in one by one. I acknowledge each one and ask the Lord to help me do better the next time that situation comes up again. I ask Him to grant me understanding and wisdom in each situation. I want to see His presence in each one, and see how I either drew closer to Him, or farther away from Him.
I find my Examen so much more enlightening than it was before. It brings the passage “come to me those who are burdened and I will give them rest.” The way I was doing it, with the focus on myself, felt so much like work. It felt difficult and burdensome. Turning the thinking over to Him lets me relax and just listen to His wisdom and show me His presence throughout my day. Then also let Him chastise me, gently, so I can look for ways to do better.
I encourage you to give the Consciousness Examen a try! I have found it to be a fundamental element to my prayer life and is a good way to measure where I stand with God, my sinfulness, and my neighbor.
Thrive in Jesus, my Friends!
Have you prayed the Examen before? Do you find it helpful in growing closer to the Lord? Where did you learn it? What changes have you made in order to make it more productive?
Let me know in the comments!
P.S. I love to close my Examen with the Suscipe Prayer written by St. Ignatius!
